She Can't Say - the Trans Widow

Converted a poem by Rachel Irischild ("He tells her") to a song, added chorus, instrumentals. https://soundcloud.com/kat-karena/she-cant-say-original

He Tells Her by Rachel Irischild.

He tells her he’s a woman too

He has a ladybrain

He tells her his identity

and hers; they are the same

He tells her not to talk about

her body; it’s not fair

her body is her privilege

his own, a cross to bear

He tells her that she cannot talk

Or otherwise allude

to what her female body does

It’s nasty to exclude

He says respect diversity

except he would prefer

that she not point out all the ways

that he’s diverse from her

He tells her that biology

does not impact her life

she should still bear his children

but she must call him ‘wife’

He says that words must all evolve

She must learn to make do

And now that woman is his word

He’s taking ‘female’ too

He tells her that a woman is

whatever he decides

He will not put it into words

She must not ask, he chides

He tells her he is more oppressed

Than she has ever been

He says she must agree with him

or else she’s being mean

She searches for the words she needs

To talk about herself

The billions who exist like her

their lives, their rights, their health

Whatever word she chooses now

He finds a way to spin it

The conversation carries on

But she’s no longer in it.

When Women’s Lived Experience Is Redefined Without Us

As a women in my early 50s, I have been experiencing menopausal symptoms for several years - ranging from sleep disturbances to fairly severe hot flashes. I was told by a trans-woman who takes no hormones and has undergone no gender affirming care that (s)he, too, experiences menopausal symptoms. When I asked for clarification about what exactly that meant, (s)he said that (s)he was also experiencing hot flashes which proved that (s)he was female.

After a little more questioning, it turned out that this individual has hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating). I realize that not all women experience severe menopausal symptoms. However, for those of us who do, hot flashes are not simply excessive sweating. It also involves things like tingling like your body has gone to sleep, panic, etc.

The same individual also informed me that (s)he had experienced PMS symptoms when (s)he was younger and went on to describe abdominal cramps from G.I. distress.

Again, not everybody gets the same PMS symptoms, but PMS is not only about cramps and, if you don’t have a uterus, you don’t get uterine cramping. G.I. cramps are not the same thing. I’ve asked myself why it even matters.

What I’ve come to is a realization that women’s experiences of our own bodies are being claimed as their own by people who have not experienced them and I am being told as a woman that I need to, once again, sit down and shut up. If I question any of this, then I’m a TERF and probably was never a feminist to start. I will tell you, I was, and I am. I marched in take back the night marches in college, and have always been actively feminist. I’m also deeply progressive.

There is no home for progressive women to defend our experiences as women without being viewed as bigots or right wing zealots. We either accept anyone who identifies themselves as a woman as a sister or we’re not welcome at the table anymore.

Menopause Is Not a Metaphor

Never happens, happens again

I was sexually assaulted by a trans identified male.

He even went as far as to film the attack.

Despite the clear evidence (I can be heard in his recording plainly telling him "No!") he was not charged for the sexual assault, but rather a lesser charge.

He has been using his new gender identity to hide from his legal record. He uses the women's restroom, the women's changing room at the gym, and even spent 3 months using the women's dormitory at a local emergency shelter. It turns my stomach to know that a male with a history of abusing women is being allowed access to women at their most vulnerable.

#USA, #SexualAssault, #TransWoman, #TransIdentifyingMales